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Who Cares About Valentine’s Day Anyway?

…That is a question that a professor at the University of Osaka has been asking herself recently, and her results are shocking.

In a staggering 2 and a half minutes of research, professor Asumi Nagasaki has concluded that Valentine’s Day is the epitome of capitalism.

“It’s absolutely shocking what I’ve found.”

– Asumi Nagasaki, Professor at the University of Osaka

Many Western people are shocked by Japan’s “ignorance of glorious capitalism”. American President Donald Trump and British Prime Minister Theresa May have signed a joint agreement to fight Japan’s anti-capitalism stance.

“Japan’s military is weak anyway. All I need to do is press the nuclear button!”

– Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump), Twitter

This story will be continuing over the next month, predicts experts. However, will the West and the East resolve this dispute before then?


  1. Daniel Daniel Wednesday 14th February, 2018

    bloody theresa

    • Michael Michael Post author | Wednesday 14th February, 2018

      Our British correspondant seems to agree.

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