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Japanese Government Reveals Island Is Slowly Drifting From East Asian Mainland

YOKOHAMA — In a widely publicised public broadcast, the Japanese Government’s Chief of Geography Kanaye Izanagi announced that the island of Japan has been slowly drifting east since 2002 at an average rate of 2mi/yr (~3.2km).
Analysis of geographic mapping data and satellite imagery by top Sapporo scientists led to the shocking conclusion.

Map graphics courtesy Connormah and other Wikimedia contributers. Provided by MapLabbingJP Co.

It is rumoured that the Japanese Goverment is looking to partner with select North Korean labour camps in an effort to pull the island back to its original 2002 location. Moiwa Minami, data team leader, was reported as bragging to members of the press about her colleague ‘coming up with’ a super durable type of rope, which would certainly give some credibility to this ambitious plan.

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